When she starts piling up clothes and books in the spare room, I freak out – just a little…and when she starts loading the car, I follow her everywhere in the house, up and down the stairs, my nose touching her bare heels, not letting her out of my sight.
I’m going…I’m going – the car’s packed and I’m in it! I stand on the armrest so I can see everything – here we go – out to the freeway, then over a river and past big green spaces that she calls Iowa. I peed right next to some corn, as high as an elephant’s eye, she said – an elephant?
The green spaces went on and on till we stopped – in Rapid City, she called it – and I tell ya, I was tired of standing up and being vigilant. We had a nice motel room, right on the edge of a rock looking down on the city. I peed at the base of a huge radio tower nearby!
She was being nice and walking me before we left town. It was early morning and we’d just had our MacDonald’s biscuit/egg/cheese thing (she’s very stingy and only gave me a little). There was a store that said “open” so we went in. I smelled and smelled everything I could get to – then I made a sorta new friend. There was a dog there just my size, but she barked at me and hid under the counter. I wanted to play, but nothing doing – sigh.
We got back in the car and drove on and on, through what she called the Black Hills. Strange name, since the dirt there is red (makes a great color when I pee). Finally we got to a nifty hotel in Billings that welcomes dogs – everyone thought I was cute. I even got to go into the “continental breakfast” area, where I was petted and petted. Too much of a good thing, if you ask me.
It was hot there, so I couldn’t stay in the car while she went to her writing thing, so she dumped me in a place with lots of barking dogs. I don’t bark much – so uncouth – but I moan quite a bit when I sigh or sit down. She thinks this is funny – what can I say?
We drove on and on, through “big sky” country, she called it – lots of space up there in Montana, let me tell ya – I thought it would never end!
In a place called Butte we stayed in a funky motel in a big truck plaza – trucks everywhere, rumbling like big dragons (I’ve seen those in a book). But I wasn’t scared a bit – I marched right along like I owned the whole plaza, and even left my mark at the top of the hill at the foot of the truck stop sign, just to let them know it was my spot, too.
We finally got to “Mom’s house” near Portland – an okay place with lots of grass and bushes and trees, great smells, and this big tub of water. She got naked and went in the water – she doesn’t do that in Nebraska – and put me in this water, too, very gently I’ll admit, but I didn’t like it one bit, and scrambled right out of there. She called this swimming.
All of her family and friends loved my dancing moves. There’s one I call the Dry Can Can, where after I pee I shake one leg way out behind me and then the other leg. But I’m best at fast circles – round and round I whiz, which makes her laugh.
The big reason she wanted to do this road trip was to show me what she called the “ocean.” She went on and on about it. Well, it ain’t such a big deal if you ask me – the water tastes funny and I can’t scoop the darned Frisbee out of that mushy wet stuff. But there were some mighty nice crunchy treats that I was able to scarf up when she wasn’t looking!
This was sure a heck of a long trip – my initiation, she calls it, cuz she wants to make me a traveling dog. I did my best to adapt, like having to share space with her Mom’s two cats who are bigger than me. When the two-leggeds were watching, I was very polite and looked at the cats adoringly, but the minute they looked away I chased those big slugs out of the kitchen so I could eat their food, which I liked much better than mine.
Now we’re back home, all in one piece, but I’m a little bored with my old life. I dream of being on the road again, pointing my nose toward the far horizon.
Bette-B Bauer just retired from a teaching career in Omaha and returned to her home in San Francisco, where she and Sassy are always seeking out more adventures.
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Main article photo by: M Rocket
