The most important aspect of a dog-human relationship is trust. The dog trusts that he will be taken care of, that he will be fed, walked, loved, and sheltered. The human trusts that the dog will love her and will allow himself to be cared for. Dogs that don’t trust their owners might hide, run away, or threaten their owners. They might also act out against other people or dogs, if they believe they must take care of themselves.
Many people who adopt dogs seem to think the dog should automatically trust them, but of course, that doesn’t always happen. Though many dogs bond easily, love and trust are very different. Developing trust takes time, particularly for pet owners who have a shelter or rescue dog. In their previous lives, these dogs often weren’t able to rely on people. Likewise, backyard or otherwise unsocialized dogs have had few experiences to help them predict the future; thus, they lack the simple foundation for building trust. Dogs that have been poorly treated may have faced experiences that lead them to react with suspicion to strangers. And dogs that have suffered a traumatic event, particularly as an adolescent, can become suspicious of everything related to that event. They have to learn to re-trust their world.
There are practical ways you can help your dog learn to trust you, and most involve keeping his world predictable and structured as well as teaching the dog that he can rely on you. This is part of the process of socialization, though you might not think so. Most people seem to believe socialization is thrusting their dog into the midst of other dogs so that he can learn to play. Or they may have lots of guests come over to visit with their new, fearful dog. It might be better to call these processes “flooding,” because the dog has very few options as to his participation and is instead flooded with stimulation.
Socialization with a puppy generally means exposing the pup to the world she will be living in. This includes seeing other people and visiting with a few, seeing other dogs, and being introduced to trustworthy adults as well as a few puppies.
Socializing adults, however, can be very different. It might mean hanging on the outskirts of the action for a time, giving the dog a chance to observe, while remaining safely apart. It might mean going for group walks rather than thrusting the dog into group play. It’s always much easier for new, cautious, or somewhat fearful dogs to meet people and other dogs while everyone is moving in the same direction.
At the same time she is learning to trust the environment, a new dog is learning to trust you—the owner. If you allow her to be jumped by a strange dog (even if there are no injuries); if you correct her for something she did wrong without realizing it; if something happens and you cannot protect her, trust is eroded. Trust can take years to develop, seconds to break, and forever to repair.
Renowned dog expert Trish King has been a “dog addict” since she was a teen. Her goal is to enrich dog-human lives through the humane and thoughtful use of relationship work, environmental management, and training. She is the author of Parenting Your Dog. Humane Society Silicon Valley offers Trish King’s Academy of Dog Behavior in Milpitas. Visit HSSV.org/Academy for more information.
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