I was hiking the trail at Inspiration Point in Berkeley’s Tilden Park the other day in the company of my spouse and my sister Claire, finally getting some much needed Vitamin D after a week of chill and rain.
As we trudged along, we watched the few remaining wisp of clouds fade into pure sky blue before our eyes. Another sign of approaching spring? Dogs, dogs, dogs of all shapes and sizes, loping along gleefully next to their bike-riding and jogging owners. They were more than happy to be there; they were practically giddy. Like fugitives after a prison break, they were on a sunshine and fresh air bender. Like those escapees, you knew they were going to keep running until they dropped. Apparently, the inspiration at Inspiration Point isn’t just for people.
Observing corporate journalism today makes me proud to be a columnist for an indie publication. It’s so frustrating to yell at the news anchor on your TV, “Why don’t you ask that lying bastard the relevant questions?!” – then watch the prevaricator get let off the hook by another commercial break.
Well, we here at Bay Woof are not afraid to ask the important questions about our world, the questions that keep us up at night, pondering deeply and with sincere concern. Questions like:
- Of all dogs, do Chows Chows have the biggest appetites?
- Do people who chew tobacco prefer the company of the Finnish Spitz?
- Are members of benevolent and protective orders drawn to Elkhounds?
- Do seaweed-wielding sushi chefs own more Kelpies?
- Are beatnik poets and hippies more attracted to Bearded Collies?
- Do guys named Ken like hanging out with Barbets?
- Is Kevin Fetterline shopping for a happy and affectionate Brittany to console him after the big divorce?
- Do Pointers prefer being petted with a slow hand?
- Are Black and Tan Coonhounds the most welcome breed at Irish pubs?
- Does Star Trek star Jonathan Frakes own a Komondor named Riker?
- Are cops who frequent donut shops fond of Dunkers?
- Do bald men envy Harriers?
- Do electricians own more Wire Fox Terriers?
What are the answers to these burning questions of our times? Inquiring (mis-firing?) minds want to know.
I failed to include my annual St. Patrick’s Day limerick in last month’s issue. I am actually penning this column on March 17, so here t’is, served up with boiled cabbage and a frothy pint.
The Touching Ballad of Shaun and Guy
Shaun Brown had a setter named Guy
Who could talk but b.s.-ed like a spy
When Shaun cried “Speak truly!”
His wife learned of Julie
Guess it’s best to let speaking dogs lie
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