A yogini friend of mine finds she has to shut her Malamute out of the room when she meditates because he enjoys stacking his toys on her knees, shoulders, and head while she’s sitting in lotus position.
If a Kong or tennis ball dislodges while she is mid-alpha wave, the dog leaps up to reposition the plaything. The more she tries to ignore his antics, the louder the pooch “snickers” from across the room. Just goes to show you that one being’s zazen is another’s Jenga. It could be worse. Having a well-chewed Frisbee flopped down on your crown chakra when your posture falters beats being whacked by the Zen master’s stick.
Maybe that’s how (to quote a popular movie title) “all dogs go to heaven” – by becoming our Zen masters in one way or another. According to my favorite mock ultra-conservative, Stephen Colbert, however, all dogs don’t go to heaven. On that question he writes, “Sorry, kids. It’s only the dogs who’ve accepted Christ.” Mark Twain also weighs in on the matter: “Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
Czech novelist Milan Kundera concurs that canines seem a little closer to the Pure Land than we humans. “Dogs,” he writes, “are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring – it was peace.” (Such musings should inspire us to take advantage of the glorious June weather, before the Central Valley heat pulls the marine layer over the sensual summer sun like a buzz-killing burka.)
Of course, dogs don’t have to be Zen masters to be useful. Humorist Monica Piper came up with a novel idea. “I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the carpool lanes.” Better tighten those chin strings, in case your human impersonators are tempted to stick their heads out the window to bark at a motorcyclist.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one. A German Shepherd says to a Husky, “How’s the obedience class going?” Husky replies, “You know how these schools are. They only teach you stuff you’ll never use in the real world.”
This just in (courtesy of www.topfive.com) – The real reasons dogs don’t use computers:
- Can’t stick their heads out of Windows
- Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit
- Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail”
- Involuntary tail wagging is a dead giveaway that they’re browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working
And finally we come full-circle with still more Zen-sational ruminations about the mysteries of our wise and wonderful Koan-ine friends – this time in the form of a doggie haiku found at www.travelingdogs.com.
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
Let this be our mantra as we attack our floor coverings with lint brushes during this season in which Dogwoods don’t shed but dogs would (and certainly do).
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