Dog Humorist Extraordinaire

 

This being the first anniversary of our esteemed publication, we’ve earned the right to launch an annual “Best Of” feature, just like the more established alternative pubs.

To this end, we surveyed thousands of Bay Area dogs to ascertain their opinions on a wide variety of cultural topics. Here are a few of our doggies’ favorite things:

 

Food

Best TV Food Personality — Bert Wolfhound

Best Restaurant — Alice Water Spaniel’s Chez Pyranees

Best Iron Chef — Mario Bull Terrier

 

Music

Best Hip Hop Artist — Snoop Dogg

Best British Tune by a Group — “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road” by The Beagles

Best Elevator Music — “Stuck on You” by Lionel Itchie and the Komondors

Best ‘60s Soul Song — “Sittin’ by the Dachshund of the Bay”

Best ‘80s Rocker — Debra Harrier

Best ‘80s Rock Song — “Whippet Good”

Best Song by a Girl Group — “Slow Hound” by The Pointer Sisters

Best Pop Diva— Pariah Cary

Best Country Western Song — “A Boy Named Shih Tzu”

Best Movie Theme — “New Yorkie, New Yorkie” by Lhasa Apso Minnelli

Best Classical Dance — Borzoi Ballet

Best Classical Music — San Francisco Philharmonic Ovcharkas

 

Television

Best Vintage Talk Show Host — Merv Griffon

Best Comedian — Jamie Foxhound

Best TV Actress — Sally Field Spaniel

Best Coming-of-Age series — “Doggie Schnauzer, M.D.”

 

Movies

Best Dramatic Actor — Jack Russell Crowe

Best Vintage Character Actor — Slim Pekingese

Best Screenwriter/Playwright — Samoyed Shepherd

Best Bond Girl — Elkhound Sommers

Best French Film Goddess — Bridget Barbette

Best American Film Goddess — Rachel Welsh Terrier

Best Movie Classic — “The Maltese Falcon”

Best Prison Movie — “Papillon”

Best Marlon Brando Co-Star — Eva Marie St. Bernard

Best Chick Flik — “Waiting to Expel” with Angela Bassett

Best Picture, 2007 — “There Will Be Bloodhounds” with Spaniel Day Lewis

 

Politics

Best Senator — Barbara Boxer

Best Senior Senator — Robert Bird Dog

Best Soviet Premier — Akita Khrushchev

 

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